


New York

by glitteredsins, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Antony Starr and Stephen Amell [117]
Category: Actor RPF, Arrow (TV 2012) RPF, Banshee (TV) RPF, Canadian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), New Zealand Actor RPF, The Boys (TV 2019) RPF
Genre: BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-10-14 16:08:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17511722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteredsins/pseuds/glitteredsins, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: In Citadel, Antony Starr is an AU (alternate universe) character. He tells people he's an IT Risk Management and Computer Security Consultant (his official cover) but really he's a ex-military, sometimes mercenary, computer hacker and master thief hired by collectors and other ruthless people to steal for them: art, jewels, money, information... Citadel knows Antony's true occupation and he would never target the organization or any of its membership. Through Cit, he's met Stephen Amell (played RL) and fallen hard. This is their story.





	New York

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Antony Starr/Stephen Amell storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read).

**players only. takes place a few days after[this talk](https://antony-starr.dreamwidth.org/15096.html).**

_warnings: none_

The novelty has a long way to go before it wears off, Stephen thinks as he takes the steps down from his own jet, Antony a step behind him. He's wrapped up for the cold, and it's a grey day in New York, but even so, Stephen's smile is wide and easy, full of its own sunshine.

He has a whole weekend to himself with his darling husband, a weekend of dates, of quality time spent at museums and art galleries, even the fact he'll have to be circumspect about his relationship with his 'personal protection' guy can't dampen his mood.

The drive from the airport is unremarkable, which is not something that can be said about their suite at the club.

"Is this the freaking honeymoon suite?" he turns his gaze on Antony as he drops his backpack on the couch in the living area. It's huge, and gorgeous, there's even a fire burning away in a huge designer fireplace.

"Nope," Antony responds with a grin. "The presidential one." Suddenly glad he decided to go all out for the weekend.

Stephen's brows climb at that and he glances around the room again. Since their talk a few days ago, Antony has been even more attentive than normal.

"You have to let me spoil you sometimes," Antony adds, glancing at his watch. "We have an hour til we have to leave for the restaurant."

"I'd like to point out you spoil me all the damn time," Stephen laughs. At the mention of their dinner date though he turns to their luggage - a couple of small cases, more than they'd usually pack for a weekend, but it's New York in January and they need more clothes, a lot more clothes and two suit carriers. "I only need a quick shower."

Antony nods. "You go first. I'm going to grab a drink." He could join Stephen and often does but then they'd never get out of here in time.

"Okay," Stephen pulls his wash bag out and goes hunting for the bathroom, humming happily to himself.

It feels good to see Stephen so happy. Antony pours himself a glass of scotch - single, neat - and stands by the tinted windows, looking out on the city below. He leaves again on Tuesday, having stretched a week long break into eleven days, and while he's not looking forward to it the way he used to, he thinks it'll be good for Stephen to have the break, to do some of the things they'd talked about.

The shower really is a quick one, and Stephen even debates shaving, but decides he can get away with a light stubble. "I'm done!" he calls out, towel knotted at his waist.

"My turn," Antony says with a grin, swatting Stephen on the ass as they pass and eyeing his husband _very_ appreciatively. "I'll be quick too," he promises.

Stephen twists on the spot, gives Antony a mock glare. When his husband is out of sight he takes his time drying off and pulling on some shorts.

Antony takes the shower up full blast, as hot as he can stand it, shoulders and back turned bright red in the few minutes he's in there. He shaves, splashes on a little cologne, and copies his husband with the towel, wandering back out into the bedroom with it sitting low on his hips.

"You shaved!" Stephen exclaims as he tugs on a pale blue shirt. "I didn't bother," he points out needlessly. "Should I? I mean, is this restaurant really nice and I'll look like a lazy bitch?"

"You look gorgeous," Antony says, wrapping an arm around Stephen's waist and pulling him in for a kiss even as his husband's trying to get dressed. "And I shaved for you, not the restaurant."

"Hmm, that mean I'm likely to get rimmed later?" Stephen laughs against Antony's mouth as they kiss.

"If you play your cards right," Antony smiles, staring into Stephen's eyes for a moment before finally pulling back to get to his own clothes.

Stephen finds himself unable to move for a moment, caught in that gaze, in the intensity he sees there. He blinks, drops his chin a little and takes a breath, forcing himself to concentrate instead on his shirt buttons. They may have agreed to back off from the D/s for a while, but it's still there, ever present for Stephen, he just can't help how Antony makes him feel.

Antony finishes drying off and slips on a pair of dark trousers with a light blue dress shirt. He sits on the edge of the bed, pulling on socks and dress shoes, and fastening cufflinks into place. Glances over at Stephen, a smile curving his lips, so in love with his husband it's crazy. He starts to say something before his phone buzzes, skittering across the nightstand. "Fuck," he murmurs. "Sorry. I'll make sure he knows we're out for the evening."

Huffing out a quiet laugh Stephen shakes his head. "S'okay." Since he first got together with Antony, and more so since they've become friends, Marcus has dialled back a little on how often he calls/texts Antony. So Stephen's pretty sure if he's calling, it's because he needs to.

"Yeah?" Antony answers, blowing out a breath as he gets up and walks across the room. "We're in New York for the weekend. And we're supposed to leave for dinner in a few minutes." He laughs. "You're an asshole." Nodding as Marcus explains the problem. "Call Frank. He'll get you what you need. Tell him to send it now and I'll wire the funds on Monday."

Stephen doesn't even spare Antony a glance as he moves around finishing up his dressing and then hanging their towels back in the bathroom to dry. He's used to this now, so much so he often simply zones out, not hearing what's being said.

A few more issues resolved and Antony hangs up, shoving his phone in his pocket and checking his watch again. "Do you want to grab a drink from the bar before we go?"

"Sure," Stephen nods, "Start as we mean to go on huh?" He reaches out to take Antony's hand, reeling him in. "Let me have a kiss first huh? Just because?"

"Gladly," Antony says, pressing his lips to Stephen's, their bodies aligned perfectly.

"Love you," Stephen murmurs, pulling back. He doesn't want to indulge much more, because it never takes either of them long to start getting all hot and bothered. "C'mon then darling man." He picks up his jacket and phone.

Antony takes one look at the main bar and decides to steer Stephen towards the quieter piano bar. The last thing they need is to be watching people scening before they head out for dinner. "Two scotch, single malt, neat, Balvenie, Glenfiddich," he tells the bartender, leaving it up to the guy to determine what they have on hand. He settles on a stool and smiles at Stephen.

Stephen grins back at his husband. "So I'm in a for a weekend of being spoiled huh?" he teases softly, eyes only for his darling man.

"That's what I promised you," Antony nods.

Any reply Stephen is about to make is lost, because over Antony's shoulder and heading straight for him, recognition and surprise warring on his face is the very last person Stephen either wanted or expected to see here.

"Stephen! What a surprise!" Cam's greeting is easy and loud.

Antony turns to see a man in his early fifties, good-looking, silver grey, fit but not overly in an expensive business suit. He recognizes him immediately, how could he not? He'd run a full profile on the man the moment he'd had his name. But Stephen doesn't know that so he schools his features into a pleasant neutral expression, watching both the man and his husband.

"Cam," Stephen slides off his stool and offers his ex-Dominant his hand. "I had no idea you were a member?" He blinks in surprise, his heart racing a mile a minute, a vaguely sick feeling settling in his belly. "How are you?"

"You either!" Cameron laughs, he takes Stephen's hand and gives his ex-plaything a very appreciative once over. "I've been in about three months, and I'm good, very good. You're looking rather well." He casts Stephen's companion a glance.

"Cam, this is Antony, Antony this is Cameron." He has no need to tell Antony who 'Cam' is, his name has come up often enough in conversation, and oddly he has no desire to tell Cam who Antony is straight off.

"Pleased to meet you," Antony says, the lie rolling smoothly off his tongue as he shakes the man's hand. Fuck. Of all the fucking places...

Stephen's gaze flickers between the two men and he watches Cam trying to get a measure of Antony. _Good luck there,_ he thinks rather unkindly.

"Likewise," Cameron gives Antony's hand a firm shake. "Might I assume you're Stephen's new..." Cameron pauses, "Dominant?" he finishes, with barely a glance at Stephen, used to talking over the boy when it suited him in the past.

Stephen goes to make a half step back, but stops himself, settling instead for dropping his gaze.

"I'm Stephen's Sir, yes," Antony says with a nod. "But we've been together almost a year." A slight exaggeration but he could care less. "And you are?" He can't resist. Making it seem like he's never heard of the other man.

Stephen's head comes up, and shoots Antony a look. _You bastard!_ but he hides a smile despite it. He watches as Cameron blinks in surprise.

"Stephen was contracted to me, a couple of years ago." The words have a slight edge. "He wore my collar." Now he turns to cast Stephen a look, taking in the jewellery around Stephen's throat.

Antony looks thoughtful. "Then I'm sure he mentioned your name," he says. "But it was probably when we first got together." He smiles at Cam. "We have a permanent contract." Which isn't anything the man can't find out by checking the membership directory. "And Stephen's wearing his day collar because we're heading off-site for dinner."

"Permanent?" Now Cameron really does look at Stephen. He'd always thought Stephen was exceptionally pretty and sometimes over eager to please, certainly not long term material.

Stephen nods, glancing at Antony. "I earned it within three months," he can't help putting that out there, to the man who renewed his three times, never considering Stephen deserved more.

"He did," Antony confirms, "and I knew even before that I wanted to keep him." Flashing Stephen a wide easy smile. "I'm a long time member and Louis is one of my best friends," he continues on, oh-so-casually. "He had me trying out boys for years but I've never wanted to collar one before."

"I'm really happy, happiest I've ever been," Stephen nods, smiling at Antony, amused at his husband's deliciously sadistic toying with Cam. "What about you? Are you seeing anyone?" He tips his head in query, meeting his ex's gaze square on, something he rarely did when they were together.

Cameron shakes his head. "No, not right now, I've had a couple of boys on short contracts in the last twelve months, but nothing I wanted to pursue." Oblivious to the fact he's merely stating his usual state of non commitment. "Well," he takes a breath, casting Antony a look, the other man looking entirely too amused for his comfort. "I shall leave you to your dinner plans." He nods at Antony, then turns back to Stephen. "It was good to see you, and I'm pleased to see you doing so well, professionally and personally." And it's almost the truth, because seeing Stephen like this... he's beginning to wonder just what he threw away so casually.

Antony nods, glancing at his watch. "Our car should be out front," he tells Stephen, reaching for his husband's hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you," he tells Cam. "Enjoy your evening."

Stephen falls in beside Antony as they leave the bar, his head down, chewing the inside of his mouth. His holds tight to Antony's hand, his mind racing a mile a minute.

"Are you okay?" Antony asks quietly, stopping in the foyer. "Do you still want to go out to dinner?"

Stephen's head comes up, he glances back toward the bar and then leans in to kiss his husband. "Did I tell you how fucking awesome you are today? Or how wonderfully evil?" he's grinning as he pulls back. "And hell yes we're going to dinner!"

Antony laughs. "Thank god. I wasn't sure what you were thinking," he admits, eyes crinkling.

"I have to admit, I felt a bit sick seeing him, but you know what?... I handled it, and you, you were perfect." He lifts Antony's hand to his mouth and kisses the knuckles. "All I wanted to do was get in his face and tell him 'Antony collared me, married me, he spoils me, he treasures me in ways you can never understand.'" He laughs. "It's so different to how I thought I'd feel."

"Good," Antony says. "Because I could get him kicked out if you want." He grins, mostly teasing but not entirely. One word to Louis...

"Why would I want you to do that? Not now he can see me, with you, happy, owned." Stephen shakes his head, he tugs at Antony's hand. "Let's go to dinner." He'll probably want to talk to Antony about this later, but right now? He's determined to get their evening back on track.

The drive to the restaurant's not long and they're shown to their table, on the 35th floor, overlooking Central Park. Everything's lit up, the snow just beginning to fall and Antony smiles across the table at his husband. "I arranged for the tasting menu with the wine pairings but we can order a la carte if you'd rather?"

"No, that sounds perfect," Stephen settles a napkin in his lap and leans in, elbow to the table. "This is incredibly romantic Tony," he waves a hand around. The restaurant is beautiful, they have an amazing table, and Antony is, as ever, being attentive. "I thought when we agreed to back off from the D/s I'd start to feel adrift in some way, but I don't."

"That's good." Antony's not sure how Stephen will feel or do when he's away but for now it's a great start.

"That's all you have to say?" Stephen raises a brow. He knows Antony's been trying to make sure he feels taken care of, but Stephen's aware this is a two way street. "How're you feeling?"

"Sorry," Antony's smile turns a bit sheepish. "I'm feeling good. Positive about what we're doing. But I love being with you, whether it's scening," he says, dropping his voice a little, "traveling, cooking together or dining out, or just lying on the couch at home watching TV. You're the constant for me and as long as we're good, I'm good."

"We're good," Stephen assures his husband. "We've just got some settling in to do, with all the change; having Christos on board, me being back at work, this change in our dynamic, married life in general," he glances down at his wedding band. "So I suggest we try and minimise too much more huh? I mean I know we're looking for a new place, but we're in no rush right?"

"No, but does that mean you want to take our time," which Antony already thought they were doing, "or stop looking for now?"

"No, just reiterating we're in no rush, though I think Christos is extremely keen for us to get a move on, it seems to be his thing," Stephen leans back a little when a server appears.

Antony laughs. "Christos and his home shows," he says, amused, taking a moment to appreciate the first dish they're being served.

"This is the Ahi tuna," the servers says, sliding the plates in front of them. "Served with uni, uzu and trout roe and paired with a 2013 Schmitt-Wagner Riesling." Another server stepping in to serve the wine.

Stephen beams his thanks at the servers before turning his attention on their food. "This looks amazing," he flashes his smile at Antony. "You always make such excellent choices."

Antony smiles back. "Thanks. I wanted something with a view," he says, nodding at the city and Central Park on the other side of the glass. "Amazing food and a view to match."

Lifting his glass, Stephen offers a toast. "To you and me, to finding our even keel, and to a happy and healthy year ahead of us."

"To us," Antony echoes, clinking his glass softly against Stephen's before taking a drink. "Mm. That's good." Quite impressed with the selection. "Did I mention I have tickets for the theatre tomorrow night?"

"You really went all out," Stephen laughs softly, because of course he did. This is Antony.

"I promised you a date weekend," Antony says, pulling the tickets from his inside jacket pocket and handing them over for Stephen's inspection. "If you'd rather see something else, I can arrange it."

Setting his cutlery aside Stephen takes the envelope, the tickets tucked inside, he peers at the name of the play. "Thank you, that's perfect," he sets it to one side and leans in. "Is there anything you _can't_ arrange?" he teases, his husband's offer of having Cam thrown out of Citadel still amusing him.

"Not if I'm determined," Antony responds with a grin.

"Have you always gotten what you wanted?" It's a casual enough question, posed as Stephen lifts his fork to his mouth.

"Not always," Antony says after a moment's pause, taking the question a little more seriously. "And not always easily."

"Is there anything you haven't achieved that you've wanted to?" Stephen pauses to sip his wine, his gaze locked on his lover looking unusually thoughtful.

Antony shakes his head. "Not that I can think of, which means anything there might have been wasn't really worth it," he says. "My regrets are mostly about people. Friends lost, where all the money and determination in the world couldn't save them." And that started early. With his best friend.

Stephen reaches out to give Antony's hand a quick squeeze. "You need something new to aim for then huh? " he says gently.

"Maybe. You have something in mind?" Antony asks, taking another sip of wine.

"That's not for me to decide is it? No more than it's yours to decide my goals, my aspirations," Stephen shrugs, eats more of the really, really good food. "But for someone driven, like you?"

"I'm not allowed to rest on my laurels?" Antony teases. "Retire and become a house husband?"

Stephen arches a brow at that, giving Antony his best 'bullshit' face. "You'd be bored in about three months, you'd drive me mad, and Marcus would pine away to nothing."

Antony laughs, sitting back as their plates are cleared and the second course - seared Hudson Valley foie gras - is served. "Well, I've got the gym, and training, spending more time at the head office," Antony muses. "More computer work. I wouldn't mind climbing Everest," he says suddenly, that idea completely unrelated to his work.

"Well there you go then, stay home, do all those things, and plan an attempt on Everest for your adrenaline kick," Stephen smiles. "Though you're on your own with the Everest thing, Nepal was enough for me thanks." As much as he enjoyed it, enjoyed pushing himself, it wasn't something he's in a rush to repeat.

"What about other travelling though?" Antony asks, not surprised Stephen would pass on Everest, especially after his injury. "I wouldn't mind seeing as many countries as we can."

"We have the plane, I'm sure between you and Christos you can organise our breaks around my schedule. I'm eager to see as much of the world as you are, darling man," Stephen shrugs. "This is why I needed him, I want to travel with you, but all the practicalities - visas, jabs, itineraries, flight plans - that's where I don't have the time or inclination."

Antony nods. "Christos will have a great time arranging things," he says, knowing the man loves travel almost as much as real estate. He smiles across the table at Stephen. "What about tomorrow? Lie in for a bit and then go full tilt all day or up early and back to the hotel for a rest before dinner and show?"

"Up and out I think. We're not going to be shockingly late tonight, are we?" Stephen pauses to appreciate the food for a moment, then nods. "Then we've time for a 'rest'," he makes it clear he knows exactly what kind of 'rest' Antony has in mind.

Antony chuckles. "I'm that transparent, am I?"

"'Horny', 'greedy', those are words I might have chosen over 'transparent'," Stephen teases, his blue eyes dancing with amusement.

"Greedy?" Antony pretends to be offended then relents. "I guess last weekend proved that."

"Didn't it just." Chuckling, Stephen nudges Antony's foot beneath the table. "Wouldn't have you any other way though."

"Good, because I'm not sure I could change," Antony says, smiling and nudging back. "Not with you around to tempt me."

"Flatterer," Stephen returns. "You know I'm a sure thing yeah?"

"I do," Antony nods, "but so's my mum and that's never stopped my dad from bringing her flowers or holding her hand or telling her how beautiful she looks all dressed up."

"You never tell me I'm pretty when I'm all dressed up." Repressed laughter is hidden behind Stephen's mock pout.

Antony laughs. "No, I just tell you how beautiful you are all the time."

"Yeah, yeah you do," Stephen agrees, he dips his chin at that, nudges his last mouthful of food with his fork.

"Which I wouldn't if I didn't mean it," Antony points out, knowing it's taken Stephen a long time to get comfortable with his use of the word.

"I know you mean it," Stephen flicks a glance up from under his lashes at his husband, it's an unusually coy and flirtatious move, and entirely natural. "Just as much as I mean it when I tell you how hot you are, it was your eyes that got me, that night we met."

"Yeah?" Antony smiles, that look getting to him in a heartbeat. God. "Not my witty repartee?"

A soft smile and Stephen inclines his head. "That too, you were hot as hell, drinking some quality scotch, so I knew you had standards. Your dominance is apparent to anyone my way inclined, it's inherent, natural for you, and those eyes of yours... icy blue, but they crease up when you smile and it changes your face." He lifts his glass and tips it toward Antony. "Meant to be darling man, we were meant to be."

"Yes, we were," Antony nods, eyes crinkling just the way Stephen describes. He tips his glass back, a quick glance at those around them before he mouths, "Love you."

That earns Antony a truly delighted smile from Stephen. Their plates clear, their glasses empty they lean back allowing the servers to clear away. Stephen decides an entirely different topic of conversation is in order. "Do you think Cam is busy checking us out on the club's registry?" He can't help smirk at that, he knows Cam, and he's pretty sure that's exactly what he did the first chance he got.

"Probably," Antony says with a chuckle. "The look on his face..." he grins.

"Yeah," Stephen shakes his head. "I never actually thought you two would ever meet, so that was a little surreal for a moment there."

"I'll bet," Antony says, "but you're really okay with it?" He smiles. "It doesn't seem like he's changed his ways much."

"It was different to how I thought it would play out, and whilst there was a few moments where the urge was there to step back and let him talk over me like he used to, I also wanted to get in his face and tell him, 'look what I have now, look at this man who loves me, who married me, who thinks I am worthy'." Stephen shrugs, eyes down, his expression thoughtful. "It might catch me out later, but right now... yeah I feel okay."

"I thought you held your own really well," Antony says with a smile. "He obviously didn't expect it." He takes another drink of wine. "I'm assuming you trust him not to rat us out? Since he's never exposed you so far."

Shaking his head he glances up at Antony. "He might be many things, indiscreet isn't one of them, he's old enough to remember what it was like to be in the closet in day to day life." His expression turns curious. "What did you make of him? Was he what you expected?"

"Yes and no," Antony admits. Figuring he'd better come clean. "I ran a search on him, the moment I had a last name to go with the first. Way back."

Stephen's brows go up at that, then he huffs out a laugh. "Of course you did." If he'd bothered to think about it, he should have guessed that. "Still paper and real life, bit different."

Antony nods. "In person, I could see the appeal," he says. "He's good-looking, charming, not half the asshole I expected him to be."

"He wasn't ever intentionally cruel, he's just... thoughtless I guess, self absorbed," Stephen wonders at that, and why it's taken him until now to really see it. "Which is where it was easy to get sucked in. A real, _intentional_ asshole tends to show their hand pretty quick, he gave me enough to want to keep coming back, without ever committing properly."

"And now you have him wondering what the hell he missed," Antony points out, continuing as the next course is delivered to their table, "Not that he'd ever see it because no one's going to be good enough for him."

That gives Stephen a moment's pause. "Do you think he is? Wondering what he missed out on?" The concept is utterly alien to Stephen, he's spent so long feeling like he was the one that lost out.

"Hell yes," Antony says with a laugh. "Did you see the way he looked at you? When he heard we have a permanent contract."

Stephen shakes his head, quietly mulling it over. He picks up his silverware and gives his food the attention it deserves.

"Did you still want him?" Antony asks after a minute or two of silence, curious. "Was the attraction still there?"

It takes a moment, because for Stephen the question is farcical. He looks up to meet Antony's gaze. "Do I still want him?" He shakes his head. "I have you." And for Stephen that says it all. He has the man he never knew he deserved.

"I know you do, but," Antony starts to say before the look on Stephen's face tells him all he needs to know. "Never mind. I'm glad we ran into him. And I won't get him kicked out unless you ask me to." He grins.

"Nope, never going to happen, but I am entertaining a fantasy of him seeing us do one of our nasty hardcore scenes," Stephen laughs at that. "Your sadism seems to be rubbing off darling man."

"Uh oh," Antony kids, grinning.

Offering a half shrug Stephen glances down at his plate. "I spent so long wishing he'd own me, then I spent months mourning something I was never going to have. But I guess I owe him, because he let me go, so I was ready for you."

"You don't owe him anything," Antony's quick to say, "but you can appreciate your time with him made you ready to meet me, to know what you really wanted."

Laughing at that Stephen shakes his head. "I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't even spend enough time with you to fully appreciate what you had to offer, I just went with some insane impulse, some uncharacteristic 'fuck it' moment. Second date and 'will you be my Sir'? I think I was more surprised that you didn't kick me out of bed for being so presumptuous, than the fact you said yes."

"I couldn't think of a good reason not to," Antony says with a shrug, laughing too. "I already knew I wanted you."

"Just like that..." Stephen wonders at it, lost in the memory for a moment as he nudges food around the plate.

"However it happened, we were right," Antony says with a smile, watching Stephen. "We took a chance and look at us now."

"Is there anyone for you? Someone in your past that you regretted how things played out?" Antony has never spoken of past lovers, and Stephen can only assume there must have been one or two that were more than a warm body for a night.

Antony gives a bit of a shrug. He doesn't like to dwell in the past and he's spent a lifetime compartmentalizing emotions. "There was a girl in Thailand when I was younger. She was from Australia, there for part of a gap year."

It's odd, Stephen realises, that more often than not he forgets that Antony likes women too, sometimes he might catch his husband appreciating an attractive woman but nothing is ever said, and despite the fact Antony was pretty clear upfront about it, in the 9 months they've been together he doesn't think Antony's shared his bed with anyone else except Ian.

"She must have been something special to have caught your attention," Stephen smiles.

Antony nods. "She was, but it was just before I went into service," he says, playing with his fork.

Watching his husband for a moment Stephen offers quietly. "Should I let this drop?"

"No," Antony exhales softly, glancing at Stephen. There's so much of his life, what he does, that they don't talk about. Adding another thing just seems... too much. "But you have to remember I was young and stupid."

"We've all made mistakes Tony." He sets his fork aside, and picks up his glass.

Antony nods. "I know," and he does, but that hasn't changed the fact he still hasn't truly forgiven himself. "We met on Koh Samui and spent three weeks together, making mad plans for the future - I wouldn't go into the service, I'd travel with her, we'd find a place somewhere and set up a sort of bed and breakfast commune thing," he gives a soft laugh. "And I don't know if deep down I knew all along I wouldn't do it or if I just suddenly snapped back to reality, but I couldn't tell her. So I packed up my stuff one morning, slipped out and went home."

"You in a commune?" Stephen arches a brow, amused. "You like your structure and order far too much for that."

Antony laughs. "It sounded good at the time," he says. "Everything she said did."

"Ahh, it was all clouded by hormones huh?" Stephen teases, "Was she very hot?"

Antony rolls his eyes. " _Very._ Supermodel hot. Long blonde hair, long legs, blue eyes, and she was smart, so fucking smart."

"You always like your blue eyed pretties then?" He's amused at Antony, and it shows. "What was her name?"

"Michelle." Antony grins. "You don't think less of me for running out on her?"

"Why would I? That was years ago, a different you. You're a man of integrity, I know this." He finishes his food and leans back, eyes only for the man in front of him.

Fuck. Antony can feel himself start to tear up and he looks away, waiting for it to pass. All the things he's done over the years and that's the one he carries around with him? Has never shared with anyone? Stephen's words feel like absolution and he had no idea how much he needed that.

Stephen's brows draw together and leans in, and despite the public nature of their surroundings he takes Antony's hand. "Tony?" Clearly there is baggage here - painful baggage.

"I'm fine," Antony says, blowing out a soft breath. He shakes his head, gives Stephen's hand a squeeze. "I've just always felt like such a shit for doing that. I didn't even leave a note. I just up and fucking ran away on her. And you're the only person I've ever told."

"You were a shit to her, it was a shitty thing to do. But you took it as a lesson didn't you? Made sure you didn't do it again? Show me one person on this planet that hasn't done something like that? Difference is, not every one _does_ learn to be a better person from it. You did." He rubs his thumb over Antony's hand.

Antony nods, gifting Stephen with a small smile. "Thank you. I needed to hear that."

"You're a good man Tony," Stephen gives Antony's hand one last squeeze and then lets go.

Antony's not sure that's entirely true but he is for Stephen. He is where he can be. Where it really matters. "What about you?" he asks, after their next dish is delivered. "Any regrets besides Cam?"

"Not really, I still think about the first guy I was with, his name was Miles, we were 18 or so, we were in the same ice hockey team. I'd been dating a friend's sister for a few months, all very casual, and then one night, after a game when we'd all gone out drinking I ended up back at his place, one thing led to another and by the time the morning came around I knew I had to tell the girl we were done. He opened my eyes, he must've seen something in me... he and I never really dated, we were more fuck buddies and it slowly tailed off when we both found someone else."

"Ever been tempted to look him up? See what he's doing now?" Antony asks.

"No, I'm a very different person now," Stephen smiles, "But it's the weird thing about celebrity, he must be out there and he's probably seen me on TV, so I wonder if he's ever thought about me, about what we shared."

Antony nods. "I'm sure he has, and either way, he's been discreet."

"I may have dated assholes, but they were discreet assholes," Stephen lifts a shoulder. "Now I have you, and you could show the Secret Service a thing or two on how to be discreet."

Antony grins. "That's my business," he says, still making quick work of the fairly small dishes at this point. "There's two more after this," he says, nodding at his emptied plate. "Some tenderloin thing and dessert." His grin widening.

"Dessert!" Stephen grins at that, his face lighting up. "And for once I'll not be eating it on my knees."

That gets a laugh. "Apparently I should let you up on the couch more often," Antony deadpans, eyes sparkling, giving him away.

"I've got two months off," Stephen counters, and though he's smiling he drops his gaze to his glass, swirling the remaining wine around the bottom.

"Does it feel that way?" Antony asks after a moment, curiosity again getting the best of him. "Like a break?"

"That's not how I'd describe it, a break implies something positive, like we'd go on holiday for a break," he pauses, not sure he's using the right language to explain the nuances of what he's feeling. "It's more a hiatus, a pause, a time to breathe."

Antony nods, grateful their servers choose that moment to clear plates and deliver the second last dish.

"Wagyu Beef Tenderloin with a smoked potato puree and sherry wine reduction," the one waiter says, "served with a 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon from Heitz Wine Cellars in Napa Valley."

Antony nods again. "Thank you. It looks delicious."

"And what about you? How do you see it?" Stephen asks when they're alone again, he's not uncomfortable discussing this, not here, in fact he knows they have to be able to talk about it, how else can they resolve it as an issue.

"The same way," Antony says, taking a moment again to respond. "It just surprised me when you said you had two months off. We were only joking but I wondered if it felt like that."

"I guess it does in some ways. I think I always live with an expectation of being asked to be at your disposal, of being available, and now perversely I feel a little like I'm 'off duty' and that's an odd concept, it's like something on the edge of my vision I keep catching, a reminder that it's not there, I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and I don't want to get comfortable with its absence."

The last part goes a long way to allaying Antony's fears. This isn't something Stephen _wants_ , it's something he _needs_ , some clarity, some space in which to centre himself again. "Maybe it won't need to be two months," he points out. "But it's okay if it is. Whatever it takes." He smiles, amused by how at odds with his usual way of communicating this is.

"And what if we reach two months and we've not resolved this? If you're not happy that I'm in a better place?" Stephen forces himself to pay attention to his food, to not look like his insides are not knotting up with anxiety.

Antony cocks his head to the side, watching Stephen for a moment, then leans forward, confident they're isolated enough no one's listening. "Then we talk things over and see where we both want to go from there," he says. "But I'm in this for the long haul. You've got my ring, you've got my collar, you've got me. None of that's going anywhere."

Stephen sets aside his cutlery, dips his head and covers his eyes with his hand for a moment, over come at the rush of emotion at Antony's words. "Thank you." It's all he's got to say. He takes a deep breath and straightens again, composing himself.

They've obviously both got their fears and Antony has to remember that. In his work and the rest of his life, he's so certain, so sure of himself, so confident in what he's doing, but here, with Stephen, he sometimes finds himself worried about misstepping in ways he never does anywhere else. "Did I mention dessert's a gourmet chocolate tart?"

There's laughter at that, Stephen's face lighting up. "Am I so shallow darling man that I can be appeased with chocolate tart?"

"Shallow isn't the word I'd use," Antony teases, eyes crinkling, unable to resist.

"And what word would you use huh?" He gives Antony's shin a light kick under the table.

"I'd say cheap date but look at this place," Antony laughs, moving his legs out of reach. "So... sweet slut?"

"Uh huh?" Stephen shakes his head, "You don't get to call me that now, you're going to have to come up with a new endearment darling man, and one we can use in polite company." There's a smile on Stephen's face, a faint flush when he thinks of all the names Antony does call him; abuse to some, sweetheart names between them.

"Beautiful, babe, honey sweetie pie..." Antony grins.

"Babe? Like the pig?" Stephen's blink is _almost_ innocent.

Antony laughs. "You said it, not me," he points out.

"You're too clever for your own good," Stephen shoots back.

"What would you like me to call you?" Antony asks, still grinning, not in the least repentant. "Hon? Beautiful? I won't suggest babe again. Gorgeous. Sexy."

"That's something you have to pick, that's not for me to decide. Would you have chosen 'darling man'?" Stephen shakes his head, amused at his husband's seeming reluctance.

"No, but you've come up with two for me," Antony says, not quite sure why he has such trouble coming up with an endearment that suits his husband. Especially when he doesn't have trouble with boy or any of the other words they use when it's just them, in role. "Tony and that. You're better at this than I am."

"Just don't call me Steve," Stephen chuckles, pushing his plate away. "I've always loathed it."

Antony grins. "Same with Stevie? Stevo?" Christ, he's lucky they're in a regular restaurant.

"You can, but I'll suddenly start finding a 'h' in your name." The retort is made as Stephen leans in, glass in hand. "And I know how much you _hate_ that."

"You're so mean," Antony complains, struggling to keep a straight face and failing completely.

"Pot, kettle." And Stephen even pokes his tongue out - not caring about their high end surroundings.

"No sticking that out unless you intend to use it," Antony says, sitting back and behaving himself for a moment while their dessert is finally delivered to the table.

"Ahh, no," Stephen eyes his chocolate tart very appreciatively, but he doesn't let it distract him from reminding his husband, "You shaved, you're on a promise already, remember?"

"I said if you played your cards right," Antony corrects, grinning, digging into his dessert already.

"Have I not been an attentive and decorative date?" Stephen flutters his lashes, his lower lip sliding out into a hint of a pout.

Antony chuckles. They're quite the pair. "You have," he agrees. "But we have to get up early tomorrow and I'm so full and..." he trails off, grinning, the sparkle in his eye giving away that it won't take much to get him to do exactly what Stephen wants.

"Sadist," Stephen grouses, turning his attention instead on his chocolate tart.

"Well, that's not gonna change," Antony says with another soft laugh. "Good?" he asks, nodding at the tart.

"Yeah, not as good as the clubs though," Stephen offers his near 'expert' opinion. "But only just."

Antony nods. "Louis does a great job of luring away the very best chefs from the very best restaurants."

"Are we headed straight back? A drink in the bar, or straight to our suite?" Though to be fair, straight back to suite is no chore, not with the fireplace and huge rug laid out in front of it. _Now there's a thought..._

"Let's have a drink in our room," Antony says, finishing the last of his wine. He's good with them taking a break but the last thing he wants to do is sit in the bar and watch other people scening.

"If you're sure," Stephen nods. "Scotch?"

"Unless you want some champagne?" Antony offers, gesturing to their waiter for the bill.

"No," Shaking his head, Stephen grins. "Coffee and scotch is fine." He'd add 'preferably naked in front of that fire' but people are still within hearing distance.

Antony pays for dinner using his credit card and adding a generous tip. The service has been impeccable, especially given the number of times the servers have had to clear one course and deliver the next. "We really enjoyed our meal, thank you," he says, handing back the machine. He tucks his card back into his wallet, wallet back into his trousers and texts the driver to bring the car around. He looks up, flashing a smile at Stephen. "Ready?"

"Sure," Stephen slips out of his chair and straightens, he casts a look around the restaurant, one hand flexing as he resists the urge to reach out and take Antony's hand. "More than actually."

"It was a long dinner, wasn't it?" Antony says with a laugh, leading the way out of the restaurant to the bank of lifts. Thinking they could use something a little less fancy before the show the next night.

"Yeah, but it was amazing, I'm just..." Stephen lowers his voice a touch more. "...done with being circumspect, especially having had so much wine."

Antony smiles, leaning in as they step in, the doors closing behind them, the couple across from them starting to kiss and touch each other. Fuck. "Thank god for Club cars."

Stephen averts his gaze and nods, in full agreement with his husband. He has one of those flashes of irritation that they have to hide what they are to each other but he pushes it down, aware that really? He and Antony are lucky on so many other levels.

The sidewalk outside is packed. It's a Friday night in the city and it's New York, period, enough said. The doorman clears a path to their car and Antony lets Stephen slip across the back seat before joining him.

"You know I'm sometimes stuck with the odd dilemma of being thankful people don't recognise me and professionally offended that I'm not." Stephen shakes his head at himself as Antony settles beside him. "I'm in that middle ground, unlike Joe." He wonders how it must be to have lived all your life in front of a camera.

"Is Joe really that recognizable?" Antony asks. He's serious. He knows the actors and actresses his company protects and he knows the ones he's met through Citadel, but beyond that, being a Kiwi and someone who doesn't watch much TV or film, he has only a passing knowledge of North American celebrity.

Stephen turns wide eyes on his husband. "Are you serious? Huh, yeah, he's that recognisable, he has been since he was a kid. He was in a really successful TV show before he got into all his movie work. I doubt he can go many places without people knowing who he is."

The thought mildly horrifies Antony. Although he suspects Stephen is a lot more recognizable than he thinks he is. He's seen the doubletake people do before politely turning away or discreetly yanking on a friend's sleeve. The whispers, the pointing. "You wouldn't want that, would you?"

"Therein lies my dilemma, professionally I'd love to do work that gets that level of recognition, but it'd have such an impact on my personal life..." Stephen trails off, "It's not relevant anyway, Joe is stupid talented, I'm not in the same league."

"That's not true," Antony says. "As you said, he's been at this a lot longer than you have."

"I'm amused you think we're comparable," Stephen grins, "But we're not, there's no resentment there or anything, it simply is, he's hugely talented. I'm content with what I have and where I'm going, we're just on different roads."

Antony smiles. "I like your road," he says, reaching for Stephen's hand.

"Good, you're walking it with me after all." He leans in to Antony, aware now the car is moving they're safer. "I might have some film work on the cards," he admits after a moment's quiet. "My agent is hoping to get me seen for an audition."

"Yeah? For what?" Antony asks.

"Promise not to laugh?" Stephen tip his face up to Antony's waiting for a nod before continuing. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 - it's a good role, as Casey Jones, he's another vigilante though, seems to be my forte."

"It's live-action though?" Antony asks. "Believe it or not, I've actually seen some of the original series. The cartoons. Aren't there a couple of films?" Not even sure why he knows this.

"Yeah, it's live action, not voice over," Stephen's done a few voice over jobs, mostly connected to 'Arrow' and Oliver. "I'm not getting my hopes up, but it'd be fun to do, no particular pressure." He pauses. "So long as you're happy I do it, if I get offered the role I mean."

"Any reason I wouldn't be?" Antony asks

Stephen's shoulder lifts. "It'll shoot in New York, and it'll be during one of my hiatus gaps."

Antony nods. Fuck. That means they won't be able to travel but that's not what he cares about. "So, Christos would be here as your assistant/bodyguard..." he says slowly. "What would we do?" Because it's not up to him. This is Stephen's career and he's not ever going to fuck with that.

"What do you mean?" Stephen turns more, to give Antony his full attention. "I'd get a rental place, you can come see me right? If, and it's a big 'if', I get this I should take it, to turn something down at this point in my career might mean I'm shutting doors I wasn't aware were opening for me."

"Of course you're going to take it," Antony says. Like that was ever in doubt. "I was asking about _us_ \- whether I'd come visit, stay with you, or whether I'd be sneaking in and out now that you have an official assistant/bodyguard." He smiles. "We haven't done this before. Had you be the one travelling for work."

"There's no reason for you to not be there, and if we have to be that discreet, well, Christos will be entitled to days off yeah? You and he can 'share the job', that'll work for any set I'm on," Stephen can't help it, but this conversation has his belly tightening, and he's aware he's reacting with a very physical stress response.

"Okay," Antony nods, raising Stephen's hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to the knuckles. "It's a great opportunity for you. I just don't want to get in the way."

"And there's me worrying it's work that'll get in the way of us..." Stephen murmurs, "which is another reason I think this break is good huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Antony says, "but you have to know your work'll never cause problems. I know how important it is to you and just as you wouldn't interfere with mine, I wouldn't interfere with yours. Plus we're not like a lot of other couples anyway. I can make my schedule fit yours, go wherever you go..."

"This is all academic anyway, I haven't even got an audition yet," Stephen points out. "We can sort the details out when and if it actually happens."

"You'll get it," Antony says with a grin as they pull into Citadel.

This time the journey in the elevator is made with them holding hands, with Stephen clearly leaning into Antony, the relationship between them evident and undeniable. Stephen's loosening his tie as they step through the door of their suite. "Shall I call down for a bottle of something really nice?" he asks, casting Antony a glance.

"That would be great," Antony says, setting his suit jacket aside. "Would you like me to start the fire?"

"Yeah." He flashes Antony a warm smile, his gaze following his husband for a few moments before moving to the phone. The call made, he then busies himself hanging up both their jackets, and putting away his cuff links, tie and shoes. It's only when he makes a move to take the rest of his clothes off that Stephen pulls up short. Normally Stephen would be working on getting naked in preparation for kneeling - indeed the fire place, its seating, the rug before it, are all conducive for a boy to kneel for his Sir but that's not something that's going to happen, not here and not tonight and it leaves him feeling disorientated as to how he's supposed to behave now.

Antony gets the fire started, the wood starting to crackle nicely. He stands up, glancing over his shoulder at Stephen and sees his husband standing there. "Hey, c'mere," he says, reaching out to him. "Come give me a kiss."

"I feel a bit lost," the admission is made quietly as Stephen slides his fingers into Antony's warm hand. "I should be naked, getting ready to kneel."

"Unless it's like any night where we're out of role," Antony says softly, pulling Stephen in close. "Where you're not in the mood or you have to work the next day..."

"I know, but that's at home, here," he waves his hand at their beautiful surroundings. "I feel I should be, in fact I want to," he lifts his gaze to meet Antony's.

"I know," Antony nods, blowing out a soft breath. "That's why I didn't want to have a drink in the bar."

"If we both want it..." Stephen trails off, letting his thoughts run before he puts voice to them. "Might I kneel for you? And we can just be, something gentle, that's all I need. To feel that connection, no need to play, just to be at your feet and enjoy the simplicity of that. Or is that not something you're comfortable with?"

Antony thinks for a moment then nods again. "We can do that," he says. "Like you said, something gentle, quiet... you, me and a couple glasses of Scotch in front of the roaring," he glances at the fireplace and chuckles, "well, soon to be roaring fire."

"Thank you," Stephen rocks in on his toes and kisses Antony on the mouth. "I'll be right back." He backs up, happy to know he can be naked and on his knees. Just a few minutes later Stephen's back, wearing nothing but his collar.

Antony grins. "You are so fucking beautiful," he murmurs, leaning in for another kiss, his hands on Stephen's hips when there's a knock at the door. "That was quick."

"Let me," Stephen offers. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right with you." He waves his hand at the large armchair by the fire. It's a small act of what he perceives as service.

Antony slips off his shoes, gets rid of his belt and settles in the chair, the fire already working on taking the last bit of chill from the room.

Delivery taken care of, Stephen carries the tray over to where Antony's sat, he sets it on the nearby coffee table and sinks to his knees, a soft exhale of 'rightness' an easing of a tension he'd been carrying all week bleeds away as he pours them both a drink and turns to his lover, his husband, his... "Sir."

"Thank you." Antony takes the glass from Stephen. He tilts and turns it, letting the scotch coat the glass before inhaling its scent. "Mm. Nice," he says, taking a small sip.

Shuffling to the perfect spot, Stephen shifts his posture to something entirely casual, his legs tucked under, his weight dropped on one butt cheek. Glass in hand he leans his head to rest against Antony's thigh. And it feels right, and good. All is well in his world in this moment.

Antony runs his hand over Stephen's head, stroking his hair as he drinks his scotch, the wood in the fireplace crackling away. He's a little sleepy now, food and wine having their effect, but he promised Stephen he'd shaved for a reason. "Depending on where we buy, we should put a fireplace on the list," he says quietly, finally.

Stephen's mouth curves up in a pleased smile. "I was just thinking the same thing," he murmurs, the scotch is good, the moment quiet, it's exactly what he needed, and he hopes Antony can find something lovely in this peaceful stillness. "I love you Tony," he adds quietly, unusually using his sweetheart name for his husband whilst on his knees.

"I love you too," Antony murmurs, rubbing the pads of his fingers against Stephen's scalp.

"Tonight has been perfect, thank you." He sets his glass aside and curls both hands around Antony's ankle.

"My pleasure," Antony says, smiling, gazing at his husband. "You still want what we talked about or are you taking a raincheque?"

"No... another time," Stephen turns to set his chin on Antony's knee to look up at him. "I'm just happy to curl up with you."

"As long as I don't fall asleep," Antony says, not really sure whether he's kidding or not.

"I meant in bed," Stephen smiles, Antony looks so tired, his entire body language giving away just how relaxed he is. "Or I could drag everything out here to make a nest in front of the fire?"

"That sounds kind of fun," Antony admits.

"Then that's what I'll do," Stephen straightens up. "If you could move the coffee table, I'll go grab all the bedding," he presses a quick kiss to Antony's knee and then pushes up onto his feet.

Antony sits up, stretching out his shoulders and back. He moves the coffee table out of the way and gets undressed, laying his clothes over the back of the chair. The room's nice and toasty warm now and he drains his glass, knowing he doesn't have to stay awake or aware for anything. Can just curl up around his husband and go to sleep.

Stephen returns with the first armful of bedding, he lays it out in front of the fire and arranges it before going back for more. When he's done the pile really does look like a nest, he smiles, moves around the room to turn the lights off. "In," he urges, kneeling to put more wood on the fire.

"Yes, sir," Antony chuckles, making his way between the covers. "Certainly beats most of the makeshift beds I've been in."

"Of course it does, it has me in it," Stephen slips in beside Antony. "I was thinking how much more comfortable this is than Nepal."

Antony laughs. "That campsite..." He just shakes his head and kisses Stephen.

Stephen presses up against Antony, opens his mouth to his husbands kisses, his hands sliding over warm, firm skin.

It doesn't matter how exhausted he is, Antony's body responds to Stephen's proximity - to the feel and taste and smell of him - in an instant. He licks into Stephen's mouth, groaning into the kiss, pulling him closer.

Stephen goes pliant, he always does when Antony kisses him like that, he lets his body speak his need.

Antony nips at Stephen's mouth, kisses along his jaw, works his way down his husband's throat, grinding lightly against him, hands moving over every inch of skin within reach.

"Tony," Stephen breathes Antony's name like a heartfelt prayer. Knowing that the kink is off the table means he's looking for a different intimacy with his husband, and with the implied restrictions on his reciprocation removed Stephen starts to test out expressing his need in a more overt fashion. Hands press just a touch harder, fingers pressing deeper into solid muscle and he lets his noises change in timber.

Antony slips down Stephen's body, mouth moving over his skin, teeth teasing his nipples, nipping lightly here and there.

"No..." Stephen protests, assuming that Antony is headed to his cock, to suck him off or tease him in some similar fashion. "No, I want your mouth on mine, I want to make love with you."

For Antony, kissing Stephen all over and getting his mouth on his lover's cock still counts as making love but he's not going to argue the point. He pushes back up and kisses Stephen firmly on the mouth. "Better?"

"I don't want to be passive," Stephen whispers against Antony's mouth, feeling for some reason like he should offer an explanation. "I want to kiss you, hold you, share your breath."

Antony nods. "Whatever you want," he whispers back, kissing Stephen again and again. Moving against him.

"You, I want you," Stephen slips his hand down between their bodies, he wraps his hand around Antony's cock, strokes him slowly, his thumb swirling over the weeping crown. "I love you, so much, darling man."

Antony groans, pleasure shivering through him. "Love you too," he murmurs. _More than anything._

"You want my hand, or my ass?" Stephen nips at Antony's lower lip, soothing away the tiny hurt with a tender kiss moments later.

That gets another groan. "I have to choose?" Antony mock-complains, but quickly adds, "Your ass. I want to be inside you."

"Yes," Stephen breathes the word, moments later he's turning in Antony's arms, presenting his back, his ass. "Please..." he murmurs, tilting his head to allow Antony access to his throat, his collar.

Antony pushes up just long enough to grab lube from the bowl nearby. He drops down again, draping himself over his lover, kissing his throat, along his collar, his fingers slicked and rubbed over Stephen's hole.

This is a perfectly intimate moment, here in a hotel room, in front of a fire, wrapped in warmth, cocooned against the world. There is nothing for Stephen but the man at his back, whose kisses light him up, whose touch arouses him so completely, whose love envelopes him. "Tony... Antony..." Stephen says his husband's name for no other reason than to relish the sound and taste of it in his mouth.

"My beautiful Stephen," Antony murmurs, slowly opening him up, fingers brushing over that sweet spot inside.

Three words that have a profound effect on Stephen; his heart squeezes hard and his body fills with a warmth he's becoming familiar with from being loved by this man. "Say that again," he begs in a hushed whisper, for all the teasing about sweetheart names, this... those words are the sweetest, delivered as they are with such love, adoration even.

"My beautiful Stephen," Antony whispers, smiling, kissing his throat. "I'm so lucky," he adds, easing his fingers free, his cock nudging between Stephen's cheeks, pressing against his hole.

Stephen's body opens up, accepts Antony willingly, easily, a soft exhale as Antony snugs up tight, skin to skin. "I am whole when you are inside me," he murmurs. "Complete."

Antony nods, staying right where he is, cock throbbing inside his husband. "We were meant for each other," he says, believing every word. That in Stephen, he's found his soul mate, the love of his life, the man he will do _anything_ for, whatever it takes to protect and keep safe.

Reaching back Stephen sets his hand on Antony's hip, a silent 'go ahead', his fingers pressing in.

Drawing back to the tip, Antony rocks his hips for a second, teasing them both, before pushing deep again. He repeats the movements, the slow steady thrusts again and again, kisses dropped on Stephen's shoulders, the back of his neck, along his collar.

It's a slow build up, different to their usual greedy, raw fucking, and it encapsulates the whole feel of their time together tonight; connected, intimate, sensual. Each thrust draws a pleasure noise from Stephen, his hand still set on Antony's hip.

"God. You feel so good," Antony breathes, moving into Stephen over and over, his thrusts starting to pick up a pace a little.

A throaty chuckle is Stephen's response. "Made for you remember?" he counters, moving back into each thrust, it's maybe a different dance, but they still know each other's moves.

Antony nods. "How could I ever forget?" he murmurs, nipping lightly at Stephen's throat, his cock throbbing inside him. He groans. "So close..."

"I'll never let you forget," Stephen flexes internally, his ass closing tight around Antony's hard cock. "Cum darling man, fill me, make me even more yours..."

There's no holding out against that, against the way Stephen's body tightens around him. Antony thrusts harder, faster, before he suddenly stills, muscles locked, cock pulsing hot and deep.

Eyes closed, Stephen's smile is serene, Antony's pleasure is always his, and he revels in the trembling of his lover's body as Antony presses so very close. He is aware, that it is only in his bed, his arms that Antony can allow himself to become vulnerable, to be utterly naked.

Antony curses softly, under his breath, shifting over Stephen. "What about you?" he whispers, kissing the curve of Stephen's jaw.

"I'm good, I've got a nice buzz going on," Stephen turns his head a little more. "Maybe I can get a pass for the morning?" Having said that, there is every chance they'll wake in the night.

Antony smiles. "You can have a pass for the whole weekend if you'd like."

"I don't need that," Stephen relaxes, settling back into the nest of bedding, Antony still buried inside him. "That's a step too far in relaxing our rules," he smiles to himself, more than content after such a wonderful evening.

"Okay. Good to know," Antony murmurs, letting Stephen have even more of his weight as he settles too. "You want me to move?"

"Don't you dare." Yawning Stephen wriggles his ass back against Antony. "Love you Tony."

"Love you too, beautiful," Antony answers with a smile.


End file.
